Omar's family had three hours to make decisions they had never discussed.
He had died in hospital due to a complication after surgery that nobody had expected. He was only fifty-one. His wife Fatima and his two adult sons stood in the corridor outside the ward while a hospital liaison officer explained what needed to happen next.
The Janazah should ideally happen as soon as possible.
Did they have a funeral director?
Did they have a mosque ready to facilitate a janazah?
Was there a burial plot?
Had Omar expressed any wishes about where he wanted to be buried?
Fatima looked at her sons. Her sons looked at each other.
They did not know.
“We had been married for twenty-six years. We had never talked about it. You just don't, do you? Until you have to.”
Omar had been born in Morocco. His parents were buried there and he had sometimes spoken about wanting to be near them.
But had he meant it seriously?
Was it a passing comment or a genuine wish?
His eldest son remembered him saying it once, maybe seven years ago. His younger son had never heard it mentioned.
They chose a burial plot in the UK, near where they lived and near the community that had known him. It was a good decision. A loving one too.
But none of them will ever know with certainty whether it was the decision Omar would have made for himself.
The weight of not knowing
The weeks after a bereavement are already among the heaviest of a person's life. Grief is exhausting in a way that is hard to describe to someone who has not felt it. Like the way it lives in your body or the way it makes ordinary tasks feel impossible.
Adding uncertainty to that weight is a particular cruelty.
Did we do it right?
Would he have wanted this?
Are we honouring him correctly?
These questions do not go away after the burial. Rather, they linger.
What Janazah wishes actually cover
Most people think of a Janazah as something the mosque handles. And in many ways, it does. But there are decisions that only your family can make, and that the mosque cannot make for you.
Who do you want to perform your ghusl?
Do you have preferences about your kafan?
Where do you want to be buried — UK or abroad?
Do you have a purchased burial plot?
Who should lead your Janazah prayer?
How do you want the condolences period to be arranged?
These are not morbid details; they are your final wishes.
And recording them is one of the most merciful things you can do for the people who will love you after you are gone.
The Islamic view on recording your wishes
The Prophet ﷺ said it is not right for a Muslim who has anything to bequeath to spend even two nights without having his last will and testament written and kept ready. This was about property — but the principle extends to all our affairs. To leave things unrecorded is to leave a burden.
Recording your Janazah wishes is not giving up on life. It is honouring the people who will have to live on after you leave it.
If this story resonated with you —
The Legacy Companion was built for exactly this moment. A complete Islamic end of life planner — so your family never has to search during grief.
Shop the UK Edition or International Edition
Related stories:
We didn't know where anything was · What happens when there is no will · The husband who didn't know the passwords