Layla and Hassan were in a car accident on the M1 on a Friday evening in March.
They both survived — Layla had a broken collarbone and three fractured ribs while Hassan was left with a head injury that kept him in hospital for nine days. Their children — aged four, seven and ten — were at home with Layla's mother when the police knocked on the door.
In the hours that followed, while Layla's mother sat in a hospital waiting room and Layla's sister looked after the children, a question circled the family that everyone was thinking but nobody dared say out loud:
What if they hadn't survived? What would have happened to the children?
Nobody knew the answer. Because nobody had ever discussed it.
“We always said we'd sort it out. We just thought we had more time. That night in the hospital I kept thinking — what if the children had lost us both? Who would have taken them? Who would have raised them the way we would have wanted?”
Hassan told me this story two years later, sitting at his kitchen table with a cup of tea going cold beside him. The accident had changed something in him — not a fear of death exactly, but a new seriousness about preparation.
"Within a month of coming home I'd written my will, sorted out a guardian and had the conversation with my brother. It took one afternoon. I don't know why I waited thirty-eight years."
The guardianship question
If both parents die while their children are under 18, a guardian must be appointed. Without this being specified in a valid will, the decision falls to the courts — and the courts will make the decision that they believe is in the child's best interests, based on information available to them.
That decision may not reflect your values. It may not be the person you would have chosen. And it will certainly not reflect conversations you had in your head but never wrote down.
What a Muslim parent needs to specify
The guardianship question is not just about who will look after your children practically. It is about who will raise them — and how.
Will they be raised as Muslims?
Will they attend Islamic school?
Will they learn Arabic?
Will they maintain the relationships with both sides of the family that you have built?
Will the person you choose share your values around modesty, prayer, community?
These are questions only you can answer. And they need to be written down, in your will, and in a place where the right people can find them.
The conversation you need to have
Before you can write any of this down, you need to have the conversation. With your spouse or with the person you are considering as guardian. With your own parents, if they are involved.
These conversations are not easy. But they are far easier to have now than to leave undone.
The Legacy Companion has a full Family & Dependants section — space to record each child's details, your guardianship wishes, the values you hope they are raised with, and the financial provisions you have made for them. A page that could make all the difference.
If this story resonated with you —
The Legacy Companion was built for exactly this moment. A complete Islamic end of life planner — so your family never has to search during grief.
Shop the UK Edition or International Edition.
Related stories:
What happens when there is no will · The letter she never wrote · She filled in the planner the week after her diagnosis